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 To sate my hunger. (Kind of long)

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Number of posts : 2
Registration date : 2012-06-28

PostSubject: To sate my hunger. (Kind of long)   29/06/12, 06:07 am

This is my first attempt to write my story of what happened while playing wolf. Hope you like it:) Its been wrote a little differently to others.

Shadow blinked his eyes back open. What had he been doing? For a few seconds he scrabbled round his brain, trying to remember.
Thatís right.
He had been running. Running away from the hunter. Running to find the meat.
Thatís right.
He had been shot. Now he was injured and starving. He could barely go faster then a trot. And he was hungry.
He had said that already, right? Hunger did that to a wolf. Shadow lifted his pointed snout into the air and inhaled a long, deep breath.
How had he not noticed it before? It was so close, only a scents away. Shadow checked his stomach. He would make it. Just. Hopefully. Maybe. Shaking his head Shadow upped his pace.
Now he would make it.
Shadow tried to ignore the growing ache in his shoulder. The sooner he got to the meat the better. Suddenly Shadow stopped.
But it was true.
A hunter.
And it was in the same direction as the meat. And the same distance. Shadow growled in frustration, and then quickly reassessed his options. He was far to slow to catch a rabbit. He was far too weak to hunt a deer or other large animal. He was to far away to gather his pack. He couldnít rely on hunting a beaver.
That only left the carcass.
Shadow growled to himself. Why was he doing this? But off he set towards the meat. Now the meat was closer. Shadow began to slow down. It was one scent away.
But the hunter was two.
Shadow growled deeply at himself, and then broke into the fastest trot he could manage. If he didnít get that meat he would die.
And that wasnít a maybe.
It was a definitely.
He only had the thinnest of meat left lining his stomach.
Shadows heart began to pound. Closer. Closer. He could see the meat now, a freshly killed carcass lying half buried in the snow.
The hunter was so close.
Zero scents away.
But the meat was closer.
Shadow broke into a run.
Almost there.
His vision narrowed to the tiny patch of red on white, and his hearing faded. Suddenly a sense of pride and exhilaration broke over him. He was going to make it!
Then he was there and burying his snout in the meat.
All his worries melted away. It didnít matter that he was miles from home. It didnít mater that he was in the midst of an enemy wolf territory. It didnít matter that he was shot.
All that mattered was the meat.
His fangs worked in perfect unison, shearing off mouthful after mouthful of meat.
And then just like that he was sated.
Just like that he was done.
Shadow stretched unhurriedly, got to his feet, and began to walk away from the carcass.
He didnít notice the direction he was walking.
He didnít scent the human right in front of him.
He didnít hear the shot.
He didnít see the bullet.

But he felt the pain.

He saw himself cartwheel.

He saw himself collapse in the snow.

But by then it was too late.

What shadow did to sate his hunger,

He would never have another chance to do.

This was a story about how I forgot to use my senses and died. But its also about how fun it was stealing meat right from under a hunters nose:) Hope you liked:)

Last edited by Tanglesong on 29/06/12, 06:09 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling mistake.)
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Number of posts : 46
Registration date : 2010-08-31

PostSubject: Re: To sate my hunger. (Kind of long)   01/08/12, 01:47 pm

All I can say is...
Too fast,
Too much spacing
Too much line-skipping
Not enough story.
I do like the fact that you can travel along with his thoughts, but it goes a little overboard.
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